Intoxicated
by crunchie11
Summary: "So what is this I hear about you thinking I'm a sex god?" One drunk Kyo plus one half-awake Tohru equate to some interesting actions. This is not the alcohol talking.


**A/N: YAY! I love this one. Hmm... I really do :3 Oh yeah, my OC, in my non-internet computer, from _Promise Me This_. Rite, twenty-four, the darling trying to get out emotionally-retarded lovelies to get together. She's a Sohma, she's...interesting, she has dyed red hair (that has nothing to do with this) and the blonde boy (you'll understand) is officially Sirami, her boyf.**

**Yeah. Because I had to have some drunk!Kyo as opposed to drunk!Everyone. I mean, this obsession is getting out of hand (almost as bad as my love of MCR's lead singing, Jared Leto, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and some other randomly hot celebs).**

**BYE! See ya at my OTHER A/N (which you should love JOKES!) :D**

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You see, he was never normally like this. Whenever Rite went out, she usually brought Yuki along for arm-candy - and he usually went along, under _some_ kind of threat, clearly. He never got _too_ intoxicated, and Rite would haul him along when he did. But earlier this day, Yuki had gone to Kakeru's place, and Rite immediately claimed she needed some other hot babe to drag with her and dangle about in front of the old spinsters' noses (no one bothered to point out they were in their twenties, the same age as Rite, thus hardly _spinsters_).

Thus, Kyo had fallen victim. _"A simple process of annilation,"_ Rite had said. And so, the Mabudachi were out, due to already being, in her words 'on the scene', and so meeting most of Rite's...interesting friends. Tohru was not coming - _"Frankly, Tohru-chan, you're not male, and you're not exactly hot - more beautiful?"_ - and so, Kyo was left.

He's been stuttering out excuses for about five minutes until Rite whispered something into his ear, smiling slyly, and he stopped immediately as she winked at Tohru. And then they'd left a seven, Rite in Little Black Dress - LBD, Rite had grinned - that sparkled subtly and contrasted well with her shockingly bright red shoes (maybe they were meant to go with her hair?) that were about a mile tall and looked the most uncomfortable things ever. Still looked elegant though, Rite had mentioned, as it was a _lavish dining event_ they were attending.

Clearly.

Kyo had apparently been forced to wear 'nice' clothes, Rite had deemed them, though Tohru thought they (and, of course, Kyo) were _gorgeous._ A dashing tux, no tie, of course, the first few buttons undone in a way that made Tohru want to scream at Kyo about doing them back up or _just take the whole shirt off, please, no one would mind!_

Alas, Kyo could not hear Tohru's inner screeches.

Thus, Rite had dragged Kyo out into the (relatively still evening) night, and didn't return until, say...five hours? No, it was past midnight when they came back - Tohru had felt the urge of midnight snacking and neither one had reappeared.

Tohru glanced at the clock, realising she could tell what time it was. Two a.m. Which should have possibly explained why Kyo was stumbling and Rite was giggling, yet somehow did not justify Yuki's not being back nor Tohru's awakeness. Or, y'know, the fact that Kyo was stumbling and Rite was giggling.

Why was Tohru up, anyway? She thought to herself for a second, then remembered how she had heard Rite's laughter - that girl couldn't go anywhere without making a scene.

Which, by the by, also did not justify how Kyo was now completely unconscious - if you could call a drunken slumber _unconcscious_ - and breathing down her collarbone.

Tohru looked up, pleadingly, to Rite. The wicked woman just cackled some more.

"I'm soooo sorry, Tohru-chan! It was meant to be totally elegant and chic, but the hosts kept downing the wine and so did everyone else and I guess I might have could of possibly did lie to Kyo about the alcohol content, but it's not my fault he was so god damn thirsty, and I guess I Never and Twister and Truth or Dare are just addictive." Rite took a deep breath, then fell about giggling again. "I'll try and get him off you."

Rite walked over - how on earth could this girl talk so articulate and walk so smooth when clearly drunk? - and grabbed Kyo's arm, which was currently smothering Tohru's face.

"Kyon-chan, if you don't get off Tohru she'll choke and die and you'll get charged with first-degree murder," she said, trying to heave the mass of huge boy muscle plus boy brain plus boy idiocy off Tohru.

Thank god his chest was resting on Tohru's stomach, as opposed to her chest, or there would've been trouble.

"Kyo-kun," Tohru muttered, "please get off." God, even with man mass on her, she was so polite.

Bless.

Rite gives Kyo's arm a big yank, and falls over.

She finds this ridiculously funny, for some reason, and doesn't both standing up.

Well, Tohru reminded herself, this was for the _Greater Good._

_"Ouch!_" he yelped, leaping off Tohru, staggering a bit, then falling onto the (carpeted - thank god) stairs.

He pouted, looking to Tohru to Rite to Tohru again. "Something _bit_ me."

Rite giggled, and, with tremendous effort, picked herself up. She was about to say something, when a horn beeped - loudly! - outside their house.

A blonde boy flung open the door. "We've got to get you home!" he cried happily, latching onto Rite's elbow and dragging her out the house.

"Sorry, Tohru-chan! I'll be back tomoz! Blame these phsycos!" Rite called cheerfully, allowing herself to be pulled into an open-roof car, music blaring for the speakers, the two other occupants, laughing loudly and calling some other stuff at Rite.

She slammed the door shut after her, and Tohru looked down at Kyo.

What the hell did you do with a drunk!Kyo?

It was around this time Tohru noticed Kyo's lack of shirt. Oh, sure, he _had _a jacket - that was spread out across the floor in front of him, where it had fallen when he'd stumbled and it had just _happened _to _fly_ off.

And the only thing that could've helped Tohru keep a profesional head in this situation was gone.

Well, it would be an achievement, at least, if she managed to stop ogling his finely toned chest for more than a few seconds. Oh no, but that's so hard... Kyo was just the most sinfully handsome man she'd ever seen in her life.

And, judging by the blush on her cheeks, it clearly showed.

"Tohru?"

"Uh...yes?"

"You look really funny."

And he giggles. Charming.

No, actually, it sort of was: so cute and adorable, but the grin on his face was hardly, like, _cutesy_, it screamed more of a..._I'm totally drunk and available for ravaging if you do so please and I won't remember_ kind of thing.

Oh, how Tohru was tempted. However, she had to remain...sensible about this situation, and sensible was fetching Kyo a glass of water, instead of tearing whatever clothes there were and _ravaging_ him to death.

The thought did seem very appealing, Tohru sighed, as the water shot out the tap into the plastic cup.

She appeared before Kyo not five seconds later, handing him the cup.

"What's this?" he asked, staring at the substance dumbly.

"Water," Tohru answered, slightly concerned for Kyo's mental health.

"Not vodka?"

"No. No more vodka for you."

Kyo looked quite sad at this.

"So, Rite told me you two were on a _quest_," he said, excited.

"A quest," Tohru repeated. "Of what kind?"

He took a sip of the water, then said, "You were going to capture your beloved's attention!"

Oh, good lord.

"M-my beloved?" Tohru stammered, cheeks flaming.

"Yup. She said you were _in lurve_, not in love, but _in lurve_. Isn't that weird?" Kyo asked, gazing at Tohru like he totally just hadn't embarrassed the life out of her.

Currently, Tohru was debating whether to..._annoy_ or _irritate_ Rite the next day (as opposed to _strangle_ or _stab_ her, which were too violent for Tohru).

"Yup," Torhu said, giggling nervously. "Weird."

"So," Kyo said. "Do you think your quest is now over?"

Then he smirked.

Tohru had a bad feeling. "I have no idea what you mean."

"Well, unless I'm mistaken, you've _captured_ my attention, haven't you?" And he grinned, devilishly.

"Um..." Tohru really had no idea what to say.

Then he smirked. Which made his look so god damn sexy and good-looking and gorgeous and Tohru was definitely going to take that tempta- no. She wasn't allowed to ravage Kyo. _Not allowed._

"While we're on the subject," Kyo continued, still weirdly talkative and articulate, "what is this I hear about your thinking I'm a sex god?"

Oh gods. Rite really had spilled. Tohru was going to kill her. Violently. And painfully.

Possibly.

Tohru realises her mouth is actually _closerthanthis_ to hitting her floor, her eyes just as wide, some scarlet colour coming to paint her face red, again.

"But it's totally okay," Kyo says. "I mean, I won't remember any of this tomorrow, so I might as well tell you I've thought you were beautiful since, like, _forever._ And that you're the kindest, most honest, sweetest person I know, and you make me laugh, and I think you should stop saying you're not gorgeous or pretty because you are."

See, if this had been Rite, or Uo or Hana or a_nyone else_, Tohru would've gotten all modest. But this was Kyo. A drunk Kyo, but a Kyo nonetheless. Basically saying he thought she was beautiful.

"I don't think that's very fair," Tohru managed to say in a shakey voice. "Because I think you're really good-looking too, and the most handsome boy I've ever met, and you're kind to me and sweet and shy and a very good person." Kyo also has the decency to look quite surprised.

A pause, then: "Does that mean you just confirmed I'm your beloved?"

Oh, _fuck._ One of the rare times Tohru swear.

But _holy mother shitting god damn-_

"If you want to be," Tohru said, trying to pretend her breathing hadn't completely sped up.

Kyo smiled. "And if I want to be?"

"An accidental liaison wouldn't go amiss," Tohru decides.

Kyo grins at the girl's boldness. "If you get me a pen," he says sweetly.

And how, exactly, do you think Tohru would ever refuse? After granting his wish, he grabs the pen off her and writes something on his palm, hiding the message from Tohru.

Wordlessly, he hands the pen back, takes Tohru's face in his hands - she (vaguely) hopes the ink's dry - and blinks at her with those gorgeous red eyes.

Before he can do anything, Tohru goes mad with ravaging temptation (not that she'll ravage him _tonight_, however), and kisses him bang on the lips.

The kiss is, at first, soft and tender and pure - until, of course, Kyo's hands found their way to Tohru's waist, and she in turn grabbed his face, to prevent transformation. They stayed like that for a while, locked in a fiery, passionate kiss, until they decided to come back up for air.

Then Kyo turned his attention to her neck, planting sweet kisses along it's soft curve, until Tohru chuckled softly and brought his lips to hers again.

And then Yuki walked in. Not exactly drunk, though possibly intoxicated, as he was actually smiling as he waved goodbye.

Then he laughed, which was just as scary.

Then he turned his attention to the still-kissing couple on the stairs.

Kyo noticed him first, (clearly thinking well in his exactly blind-stinking-drunk condition) wrenching his head from Tohru's, who blushed as she realised Yuki had just seen them snogging (or making out, as the fussy Americanos would say) the pants of each other, Tohru perched cosily on Kyo's lap.

Oh shit.

"Oh, uh... Hey Yuki!" Kyo chirped after a second, smiling some kind of beam smile at his enemy. Tohru tried not to faint at its beauty.

"Kyo, what are you... Are you drunk?" Yuki asked, instead of enquiring why Kyo and Tohru were locked in a passionate embrace (well, sort of embrace) on the stairs, of all places.

"I think so," Kyo answered.

Tohru nodded gravely.

Yuki looked confused, then sighed. "I guess Honda-san's not capable of any kind of ravaging, so I'll just leave you two there." And then waltzed up the stairs.

Oh, if only Yuki knew.

"What did you write on your hand?" Tohru asked when Yuki was out of earshot.

Then, Tohru's only reason to snog Kyo on the spot vanished (despite Yuki had just seen them anyway).

_Tohru does think you're a sex god. Kiss her tomorrow :D_

Well, at least Tohru would wake up to something nice tomorrow.

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**A/N: I said I would be back. I'm back. Did you laaaaike it? Did you luuuuuurve it? of course you did. So review - you knnoooow you want to ;) Besides, who'd kill to be Tohru right now? i would. So yeah.**

**Good luck getting drunk!Kyo out of you mind. He's so adorable! I love him. So much. Seriously.**

**So, you don't have to review, but...**

**You _knoooow _you want to (as I previously said on my last fanfic :P )**

**I LOVE YOU ALL :D  
**


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